Lately, it has come to our attention that some people are being only slightly dickish, rather than either not being dicks at all, or being giant dicks (who can be banned).

This is a request for members of the Wikipedia community to cease mild dickery, and either desist with being a dick altogether, or to become a gigantic jerk so that immediate banning becomes possible.

Each example states a form of mild dickery along with suggestions as to what to do if you choose the "become a giant dick" (BGD) or the "cease all dickery" (CAD) paths.

• Engaging in veiled personal attacks.

BGD: Start calling people "NAZIS!!!".

CAD: Try to avoid all personal remarks.

• Deleting images without removing the resulting redlinks, and then claiming you're too busy deleting more images to go back to remove said red links.

BGD: Delete the main page and block all the editors who have annoyed you in the past.

CAD: Follow the "what links here" button and remove all links to the image you're deleting.

• Reverting only three times a day against your opponents in an edit war.

BGD: Reverting 100 times a day against your opponents in an edit war.

CAD: Trying to compromise, or at least use Wikipedia:Dispute resolution.

• Failing to source information properly and clearly.

BGD: Begin sourcing extensively, using reliable fonts of knowledge such as Wikipedia Review, Vanguard News Network, and Uncyclopedia as references.

CAD: Begin sourcing extensively, using reliable fonts of knowledge such as academic journals, works published by field experts, and reputable media as references.

• Lightly hazing newbies.

BGD: Reporting any new editor to a controversial article on Wikipedia:Administrator intervention against vandalism, regardless of the fact that they were (accurately) correcting spelling errors.

CAD: Try to be friendly to newbies, and help them avoid common pitfalls.

• Starting a single-purpose account to push your particular point-of-view, while carefully adhering to all Wikipedia policies and making a few token edits to other article to muddy the issue.

BGD: Within 24 hours of creating your account, revert the same article at least twenty times, and when you inevitably got blocked, continue to abuse the unblock template until your user page is protected.

CAD: Get some Wiki-experience editing articles you don't feel passionately about first, and only return to the hot button articles once you feel comfortable with the consensus-building process.

• Engage in highly offensive vandalism, but only do it once a week, and make sure to blank the warnings on your Talk page so that your pattern of vandalism goes unnoticed for months.

BGD: Replace the main page with racial slurs/homophobic slurs/phallic references/scatological references/"WIKIPEDIA SUX0RZ!"

CAD: Um... don't vandalize?

In all seriousness, being a dick on a small scale can be more damaging over the long term (to both yourself and others) than being a large scale one, for the simple reason that it's easier to recognize that, say, calling people "FASCISTS" is a personal attack than it is to recognize saying that someone's "opinion [about articles unrelated to Wikipedia] can probably be discounted, as he appears to support Wikipedia attack sites" is also a personal attack; thus, it is harder to discover and handle.

The damage to yourself of being a dick is quite real, by the way; by being a jerk, you will tend to make more enemies, and alienate your friends and allies.

• meta:DICK
• Goofus and Gallant