A soulmate is a person with whom one has a feeling of deep or natural affinity.^[1] This may involve similarity, love, a romantic or platonic relationship, comfort, intimacy, sexuality, sexual activity, spirituality, compatibility, and trust.^[2] The term soulmate may have originated in Judaic poetry, but was popularized in the 19th-century Theosophy religion and in modern New Age philosophy.

Definition[edit]

In current usage, soulmate usually refers to a romantic or platonic partner, with the implication of an exclusive lifelong bond.^[3] It commonly holds the connotation of being the strongest bond with another person ^[4] that one can achieve. People who believe in soulmates commonly accept that one will feel 'complete' once they have found their soulmate, as it is partially in the perceived definition that two souls are meant to unite.^[5] The term soulmate first appeared in the English language in a letter by Samuel Taylor Coleridge in 1822.^[6]

Criticism[edit]

Some psychologists state that believing that a soulmate exists specifically for a person is an unrealistic expectation.^[4][7][8]

Historical usage of the concept[edit]

Judaism[edit]

The term soulmate may have initially been borrowed from the 16th century poem Yedid Nefesh. This poem became popular due to its customary weekly recital by traditional Jews during their final Shabbos/Shabbat meal, seudah shlishit, as a means of comfort during the day's waning moments. The poem opens as a declaration of love and connection to one's Creator, stating: "Yedid Nefesh, Av HaRachaman - My Soulmate, Father of Compassion." This poem was first published in Venice in 1588 in a book titled Sefer Charedim. Its composition is commonly attributed to that book's publisher, Rabbi Elazar ben Moshe Azikri (1533-1600). However - largely because this poem was missing from the original galleys containing Rabbi Azikri's own poems - others posit that it was composed by another of his contemporaries, Rabbi Israel ben Moses Najara and famed kabbalist Rabbi Moses ben Jacob Cordovero being the most commonly offered. Still others assert that this poem - and thereby this term - is far older, dating to the 11th century Rabbi Judah Halevi.

The Hebrew word Yedid, meaning close mate or dear friend, is first found in Deuteronomy, chapter 33, verse 12. The Hebrew word Nefesh, meaning soul, is first found in Genesis, chapter 2, verse 7. While this poem is known by its opening refrain, Yedid Nefesh/Soulmate, in the 18th century prayer book of Rabbi Jacob Emden, he records its official title as: "Song of Awakening of the Soul-Toward the Love of Blessed Hashem (the Name)" (translation from his original Hebrew).

In Judaism, Bashert/Beshert which means destined or intended.This term can refer to any incident that is destined and particularly used for one's soulmate. According to the Talmud it is said that 40 days before a male child is formed, a voice from heaven announces whose daughter he is going to marry - literally a match made in heaven!^[9] Jewish Mysticism speaks of husband and wife as half souls. It is also said that G-d takes the soul whose time has come for it to enter into this world, and separates it into two halves, placing one half in the male and one half in the female. And when these two halves meet again in matrimony, their original connection and love bond comes back.^[10] Baal Shem Tov once said, "From every human being there rises a light that reaches straight to heaven, and when two souls that are destined to be together find each other, the streams of light flow together and a single brighter light goes forth from that united being.”^[11]

Mythology[edit]

Lilith and Eve[edit]

In Jewish folklore, it is said that Adam had a wife called Lilith who was created from the dust of the ground just as he was. But she remained with him only a short time, because she insisted upon enjoying full equality with her husband. She derived her rights from their identical origin. ^[12]

The woman destined to become the true companion of man, Eve was taken from Adam's body, for only when like is joined unto like the union is indissoluble. The creation of woman from man was possible because Adam originally had two faces, which were separated at the birth of Eve.^[13]

Greek Mythology[edit]

It is said that humans were androgynous. In the Symposium, Plato has Aristophanes present the idea that humans originally had four arms, four legs and one head made of two faces; Zeus split these creatures in half, leaving each torn creature to search for its missing counterpart.^[14]The severed humans were a miserable lot, Aristophanes says.“Each one longed for its other half, and so they would throw their arms about each other, weaving themselves together, wanting to grow together. Love is born into every human being; it calls back the halves of our original nature together; it tries to make one out of two and heal the wound of human nature. Each of us, then, is a ‘matching half’ of a human whole…and each of us is always seeking the half that matches him. When a person meets the half that is his very own,” Aristophanes exclaims, “something wonderful happens: the two are struck from their senses by love, by a sense of belonging to one another, and by desire, and they don’t want to be separated from one another, not even for a moment. These are people who finish out their lives together and still cannot say what it is they want from one another.”^[15]

Theosophy[edit]

According to the esoteric religious movement Theosophy, whose claims were modified by Edgar Cayce, God created androgynous souls—equally male and female. Later theories postulate that the souls split into separate genders, perhaps because they incurred karma while playing around on the Earth, or "separation from God." Over a number of reincarnations, each half seeks the other. When all karmic debt is purged, the two will fuse back together and return to the ultimate.^{[16][17][better source needed]}

New Age[edit]

According to Mark L. Prophet and Elizabeth Clare Prophet, a soulmate is a separate entity with whom one has spent many lifetimes as a friend, lover, co-worker, or partner, and to whom one is usually drawn to fulfill a specific mission.^[18] They describe a soulmate as one of many potential spiritual brothers or sisters: "even though there may be a great attraction and bond between soulmates, fundamentally, in the ultimate sense, you could define it more as a brother/sister relationship, even though soulmates have great marriages and a great union of hearts."^[19] According to Mark Prophet: "A soulmate relationship has to do with the seat of the soul Chandra, that Chandra just above the base ... The connection is one of parallel and mutual evolution rather than origin."^[19]

See also[edit]

• Astrological compatibility
• Interpersonal relationship
• Romantic friendship
• Red thread of fate

References[edit]