Article (edit | visual edit | history) · Article talk (edit | history) · Watch

Reviewer: Freikorp (talk · contribs) 02:09, 19 June 2018 (UTC)[reply]

• I'd clarify in the lead that her second album was only released in Japan

• Revised. Aoba47 (talk) 05:02, 19 June 2018 (UTC)[reply]

• "New York City's borough " - I'd unwikilink New York City as a common term and instead link all four words to Boroughs of New York City

• Revised. Aoba47 (talk) 05:02, 19 June 2018 (UTC)[reply]

• "Growing up, she felt stereotypical community pressure" - does the source indicate whether this pressure came from her own community or from those outside it?

• Revised. Aoba47 (talk) 05:02, 19 June 2018 (UTC)[reply]

• Can you indicate what genres Triple dose and 4Kast would be considered to fall into?

• I cannot find anything for Triple Dose as they never released a full project (i.e. an album). I added a small part for 4Kast. Aoba47 (talk) 05:02, 19 June 2018 (UTC)[reply]

• "It reached number 46 on the" - are you referring to "I Tried" or "Miss My Lovin" here? I ask as I would have expected the lead single to chart higher, especially if it had a notable featured artist. If that isn't the case, perhaps mention in the prose that it didn't chart but the follow up single did.

• I clarified that part. I do not believe that I can say that the first single did not chart as I do not have a source that explicitly says that. Aoba47 (talk) 05:02, 19 June 2018 (UTC)[reply]

• "to the 1996 compilation album, The Ultimate Mix" - is there any indication of what kind of compilation this was? "Bullet Proof Love" implies love songs; "Ultimate Mix" doesn't really imply anything.

• I do not believe that there is any critical commentary on either of these two. I would not really classify either as major releases so no one really paid attention to either. Aoba47 (talk) 05:02, 19 June 2018 (UTC)[reply]

• "she released "Keep It Simple" through Emotive Music" - was this a single or just a song? If just a song, did it get featured on any released recording?

• Clarified. Aoba47 (talk) 05:02, 19 June 2018 (UTC)[reply]

• "Three of her songs appeared on the 2001 compilation album" - just clarifying, these are previously unreleased songs?

• I would not assume that as they could be music recorded specifically for the album. There is no way of knowing though as I cannot find a source that really talks about this album. Aoba47 (talk) 05:02, 19 June 2018 (UTC)[reply]

• Is there any indication of how Jimmy Henchman discovered her?

• I cannot find anything further about this. The few sources that talk about this just say that Henchman discovered her. Vague, but considering she is a rather obscure and unsuccessful artist, it makes sense that there are gaps like this. Aoba47 (talk) 05:02, 19 June 2018 (UTC)[reply]

• "which was released on June 18, 2002" - seems a bit too specific, I would have just said 'released in June 2018', but up to you

• I would argue that the full date should be kept as it was a one-off performance. With just "June 2018", a reader may assume that the tour had multiple stops in that month. Aoba47 (talk) 05:02, 19 June 2018 (UTC)[reply]

• Makes sense. Freikorp (talk) 09:48, 19 June 2018 (UTC)[reply]

• "The singer featured on The Ranjahz's "Animal Life", from the album Say What You Say, that year. The singer also played Yanesha" - I'd drop one of the two back to back sentences openers of 'The singer'

• Revised. Aoba47 (talk) 05:02, 19 June 2018 (UTC)[reply]

• Is there any explicit indication given of why her second album was only released in Japan?

• I could not find anything on this unfortunately (I can only find a few sources that talk about the album in general). In my opinion, it was probably due to the poor commercial performance of the singles, and the record label just released it in Japan to fulfill a contract and get rid of it. I have seen this Japan-only release done for other R&B artists oddly enough. Aoba47 (talk) 05:02, 19 June 2018 (UTC)[reply]

• Oh that makes a lot of sense. I was wondering why a record company would only release an album only in Japan in general. Freikorp (talk) 09:48, 19 June 2018 (UTC)[reply]

• I'm not sure if it's worth indirectly mentioning that the album's release date was pushed back a mere month, but up to you.

• Good point, but I believe that the source implied a full release on that date as opposed to the eventual Japan-only release. Please let me know what you think of it (I could be reading too much into it). Aoba47 (talk) 05:02, 19 June 2018 (UTC)[reply]

• I'm happy with that. Freikorp (talk) 09:48, 19 June 2018 (UTC)[reply]

Looks really good overall, looking forward to passing this once issues are addressed. Freikorp (talk) 02:09, 19 June 2018 (UTC)[reply]

• Thank you for the review! I believe that I have addressed everything. I enjoyed creating this article; it is kind of sad to write about artists that never made a break in the music industry despite repeated attempts. Have a great week! Aoba47 (talk) 05:02, 19 June 2018 (UTC)[reply]

• Yeah I had the same feeling reading it actually. So close to mainstream success, yet so far. Still, she did better than most. Most aspiring musicians never manage to chart at all. I'm happy to pass this now. :) Freikorp (talk) 09:48, 19 June 2018 (UTC)[reply]