This review is transcluded from Talk:Growing Up (The Linda Lindas album)/GA1. The edit link for this section can be used to add comments to the review.

Nominator: The Sharpest Lives (talk · contribs) 16:01, 9 May 2024 (UTC)[reply]

Reviewer: Joeyquism (talk · contribs) 05:57, 9 June 2024 (UTC)[reply]

@The Sharpest Lives: Hi! I'm delighted to participate in the first GAN review circle, and even more delighted to be able to review your nomination. I'll try and get back to you within the next few days (Wednesday ~11PM EST at the latest). If you have any questions, feel free to ping me or let me know on my talk page! Joeyquism (talk) 05:57, 9 June 2024 (UTC)[reply]

Rate	Attribute	Review Comment
1. Well-written:
	1a. the prose is clear, concise, and understandable to an appropriately broad audience; spelling and grammar are correct.	Prose is mostly okay, though some concerns arise: The excerpts from the main Linda Lindas article in the background section are fine, but they take up a majority of the article (it's the largest section in the entire thing, as far as I can tell). I would suggest maybe using it as a starting point for describing the formation and the single "Racist, Sexist Boy", but it shouldn't be the most descriptive part of the article. Plus, the inclusion of more important details about "Racist, Sexist Boy" in the background prevents you from writing about it in more detail below. I noticed that the sentence in the composition section The anti-racist song "Racist, Sexist Boy" was written about an encounter Mila de la Garza had with a boy at school is rather short and lacks the detail that can be found in the background section. Growing Up was recorded and mixed at Music Friends, which is Carlos de la Garza's backyard studio. — I think "which is" can be excluded here. Including it makes it seem a bit amateurish. "Racist, Sexist Boy" has commonly been compared to riot grrrl sound and ideals. — Can you explain what "ideals" refers to? Wong cut the dolls freehand, intending for them to appear like the band members as cats. — Remove wikilink for band members, and perhaps phrase it more like "represent" as opposed to "appear like". The song "Nino" was written about Bela Salazar's cat. She had previously written a song about her cat, Monica, which appeared in the Linda Lindas' eponymous EP (2020). Feeling that Nino "wouldn't leave her alone until he got a song too", Salazar wrote the song "Nino" for him. — In the first sentence, you should clarify that Nino is also the name of her cat (for a bit, I thought it was somehow about Monica). Something like "of the same name" at the end of that sentence would be good, and then insert "other" before "cat" in the second sentence. ...the band performed a Tiny Desk (Home) Concert at the Los Angeles Public Library... — Not sure if "(Home)" is necessary; is this how other articles do it? I do understand that's how it was rebranded during the COVID years, but I would take precedence from other articles. Either way, this is minutiae and can likely be ignored; the point is made clearly. ...with some shows alongside Japanese Breakfast, Bacchae, and Yeah Yeah Yeahs. — Remove "some"
	1b. it complies with the Manual of Style guidelines for lead sections, layout, words to watch, fiction, and list incorporation.	Some issues: The lead is a bit short considering the depth of the content that appears in the article. I would include more about the genres, themes, the COVID background, and composition. Words such as "comments" and "calls" in the critical reception section should be in the past tense. The track listing should be using Template:Track listing. If you need help with formatting, let me know; I struggle with it myself at times.
2. Verifiable with no original research, as shown by a source spot-check:
	2a. it contains a list of all references (sources of information), presented in accordance with the layout style guideline.	Looks good. Liner notes and videos are attributed with the proper citation templates.
	2b. reliable sources are cited inline. All content that could reasonably be challenged, except for plot summaries and that which summarizes cited content elsewhere in the article, must be cited no later than the end of the paragraph (or line if the content is not in prose).	The excerpt from the main Linda Linda article contains some questionable and deprecated sources. I'm seeing a Wordpress link, and some sources (Mediaite and Pollstar) that don't seem like they would fly by on WP:RS. All the more reason to write a new background section. Otherwise, other sources for original writing seem good. (Edit: for the sentence Growing Up was recorded and mixed at Music Friends, which is Carlos de la Garza's backyard studio., only the backyard studio part is corroborated by the cited source. I'm sure the liner notes would confirm the name of the studio as Music Friends.) Source spot check: [2] — Definitely remove this. Other than this and the others I mentioned above, the other sources in the background section look promising (1, 7, 8, 10 look great) [11] [15] [22] [29] — Include the work (Consequence of Sound) [33] [40] [42] [49] [53] [59] — The author is not Conde Nast (that's a dead guy, and also the publishing company that owns Teen Vogue). The author is Sara Delgado. [63] [71] [74]
	2c. it contains no original research.	Nothing that I can find that resembles original research.
	2d. it contains no copyright violations or plagiarism.	Copyvio check returned 47.1% similarity. While I realize that these are because of quotations, I feel like you can clean it up a bit with paraphrasing (especially the Bela Salazar quote). Otherwise, other sources are clean.
3. Broad in its coverage:
	3a. it addresses the main aspects of the topic.	I think more can be said about the writing and recording stage; for instance, in the Rolling Stone article, I found the following excerpt: "As with the EP, the album was written during the first lockdown phase of the pandemic in 2020, when the girls had to attend school remotely and couldn’t see one another or other friends regularly. They say they found it cathartic to write down their feelings of loneliness and confusion." This can be included and expanded upon.
	3b. it stays focused on the topic without going into unnecessary detail (see summary style).	Article is focused on the subject and its creators with no discernable content about other extraneous topics.
	4. Neutral: it represents viewpoints fairly and without editorial bias, giving due weight to each.	No overly laudatory or scathing comments; everything is written to describe the album as is.
	5. Stable: it does not change significantly from day to day because of an ongoing edit war or content dispute.	No edit warring here.
6. Illustrated, if possible, by media such as images, video, or audio:
	6a. media are tagged with their copyright statuses, and valid non-free use rationales are provided for non-free content.	Looks good. Perhaps make the picture of Carlos de la Garza bigger, and consider including some audio clips if possible. Otherwise, good job on illustrating the article!
	6b. media are relevant to the topic, and have suitable captions.	Looks good.
	7. Overall assessment.	@The Sharpest Lives: For now, I'm putting this on hold. The content is clear and relatively well-written, but it needs some moderate tweaking and some expanding in order for me to feel comfortable passing it. Sources are mostly good (well done!), but a few need to be removed due to reliability/verifiability concerns. If you have any questions or concerns, feel free to let me know by pinging me. Thank you for your hard work on this article! I wasn't too familiar with the Linda Lindas other than "Racist, Sexist Boy" before reading this, and from what I've now learned, I feel like they're a wholesome bunch to listen to. Very glad to be able to review your work! --Joeyquism (talk) 20:37, 10 June 2024 (UTC)[reply]

@The Sharpest Lives: Gonna add some more things I'm seeing below. Apologies for not being as comprehensive as I could have been on the first reply.

• where they had previously performed their live version of "Racist, Sexist Boy". — You can remove the wikilink for "Racist, Sexist Boy", along with most of the other wikilinks for it above; I think 1-3 wikilinks of the same subject is a good sweet spot, unless the article is blazingly long. There should also still be a mention of it in the background (I noticed you removed it), seeing as it's one of the first songs the band released in general and it appears on the album; one wikilink for it in the background and the one in the track listing should be fine. If you need help with this, let me know.
• It features Ray Barbee taking pictures of the Linda Lindas using a Polaroid camera. — Include the primary/most applicable profession (skateboarder, photographer, musician) of Ray Barbee before his name; less informed readers may not know who they are. Same with Humberto Leon (photographer).
• Lil' Dude is a cat, however he is still noted in the liner notes. — Cute detail! Keep this in the article - I think it'd be a nice DYK submission if the article passes. Don't do anything to this, just wanted to note that I saw it earlier and it made me smile.
• DIY editor Ben Tipple commented, "with debut full-length 'Growing Up' [the Linda Lindas] easily cement themselves as far more than a viral moment, pairing political and social charge with a suitably playful charm." — Perhaps exclude the phrase "with debut full-length 'Growing Up'" and say something like DIY editor Ben Tipple commented that with Growing Up, the Linda Lindas had "easily cement[ed]...."

If I find any more things, I'll let you know. Sorry for being so pedantic; I understand that this is your first GAN and I really want you to succeed and become an even better writer! --Joeyquism (talk) 03:33, 11 June 2024 (UTC)[reply]

Hey Joey! Sorry I haven't replied to you - I've been a little busy so I just edit real quick while I can. Let me do a little checklist of your suggestions that I've done.

• "compared to riot grrrl sound and ideals" - removed ideals (I don't know what I was thinking)
• Fixed the paper dolls sentence
• Clarified the Nino/Monica section
• Tiny Desk (Home) Concert- I left that as is, because it's the way most sources write it
• Removed "some" (some shows alongside...)
• Changed critical reception section to past tense
• Left tracklist as-is, because I'm looking at the WikiProject Albums style guide, and in the tracklist section it says that the tracklist should be a numbered list unless it is more complex. see WP:TRACKLISTING
• Music Friends is the name listed in the liner notes. I can email you a picture perhaps? I don't know if that's allowed. I'll see if I can find another source to connect the name "Music Friends" with Carlos' backyard
• Fixed sources (except for background section- will rewrite soon)
• Lil' Dude (cat) note- I struggled with this fact for a little while, I was like "Can we credit a cat in the personnel section?" Because in the liner notes, it's simply "Piano on Nino by Lil' Dude" or something like that. I decided to leave it and make a note so that readers would understand. I'm glad you noticed!
• Fixed "DIY editor Ben Tipple..." quote

Thanks! – The Sharpest Lives (the deadliest to lead) 14:34, 11 June 2024 (UTC)[reply]

@The Sharpest Lives: You're all good! Let me know if you need more time to edit the article to meet standards; I totally understand if you are busy. Joeyquism (talk) 20:44, 11 June 2024 (UTC)[reply]

@The Sharpest Lives: Hi there! Just wanted to see if you're still working on the article; I think per general GAN guidelines I can give you about a week more at most unless there exists some outside conflict that demands more of your time (in which case, you'll have to clarify that such a situation is going on, and only then will I be able to grant you more time). Hope you're having a great weekend! joeyquism (talk) 22:21, 15 June 2024 (UTC)[reply]

@Joeyquism: Yeah, one more week would be nice. I just need to work on rewriting the background section. Anyways, I was wondering where I should put the "Racist, Sexist Boy" info. Would it belong in #Background or #Writing and composition? – The Sharpest Lives (💬•✏️•ℹ️) 23:53, 15 June 2024 (UTC)[reply]

@The Sharpest Lives Good question. I think the information would maybe be better off in the writing and composition section, as it is, after all, featured on the album. This should also be reflected in the recording period; while I recognize that the liner notes may state that the rest of the album was recorded from June to October of 2021, I believe that May to October would be more accurate considering the fact that that is when "Racist, Sexist Boy" was recorded (unless the version that appears on the album was a re-recording that I'm not aware of - that being said, I suggest going with whatever your instincts may tell you). Of course, this is just my opinion and your judgement takes precedence, though I hope that you take my remarks into consideration when rewriting. For additional information on what information should go where, see WP:ALBUMSTYLE.

Your request for a week of extra time has been noted and granted. Best of luck, and I look forward to seeing what you write! joeyquism (talk) 00:55, 16 June 2024 (UTC)[reply]

@Joeyquism: Thanks for the idea! As for the recording date- the Racist, Sexist Boy page does state that the song was recorded in May, but that is a live version that was released as a single. The studio version was probably recorded within that June to October window. – The Sharpest Lives (💬•✏️•ℹ️) 05:43, 16 June 2024 (UTC)[reply]

@The Sharpest Lives: Good work on finding that information! This should likely be mentioned somewhere in the article as well (i.e. indicate that the song had been re-recorded for the album). I'm about to head to sleep, so I apologize if this isn't as helpful as you would have hoped. I'll elaborate if needed in the morning. Happy editing! joeyquism (talk) 06:11, 16 June 2024 (UTC)[reply]

@Joeyquism Hey, I rewrote Growing Up (The Linda Lindas album) § Background. It is shorter, but I believe it provides good detail, and doesn't go too much into the "Racist, Sexist Boy" writing. – The Sharpest Lives (💬•✏️•ℹ️) 20:14, 16 June 2024 (UTC)[reply]

@The Sharpest Lives Hi there! Looks a lot better, but I do have some quick concerns:

• On second thought, the illustrating image is quite large compared to the text, and fixed image sizes are not really something people take to very kindly in reviews. I suggest removing the fixed image size, and just running with however large the image appears after removal. I personally dislike that fixed image sizes aren't utilized more, but they are ultimately better for accessibility purposes and improving the reading experience.
• Poehler, impressed by the band, invited them to make a cameo for her 2021 film Moxie. - Reads strangely; try Impressed by their performance, Poehler invited... It is also questionable as to whether or not this information should be included as well; however, it does provide context into what the band did before the album, so take this as a mere footnote and do with it as you wish.
• Remove the Film Music Reporter source - I believe this has been deprecated.
• ...Viet Thanh Nguyen, who said, "'Racist, Sexist Boy' is the song we need now". - Could be phrased better. Try ...Viet Thanh Nguyen, the latter of which said "'Racist, Sexist Boy' is the song we need now".
• On May 22, 2021, Epitaph Records announced that it had signed the Linda Lindas. It was later clarified that Epitaph had been working on a deal with the Linda Lindas before the video went viral. - These can be conjoined with a semicolon, and you should mention that it was in the works previously; e.g. On May 22, 2021, Epitaph Records announced that it had signed the Linda Lindas; it was later clarified that Epitaph had been previously working on a deal with the Linda Lindas before the video went viral.

That's all I have to say as of now; great work on expanding the lead, by the way! Hope to hear back from you again soon. joeyquism (talk) 20:26, 16 June 2024 (UTC)[reply]

@Joeyquism I incorporated your suggestions. No offense to Mr Garza, but the image is just to large and I hate too say it but it might be better off removed, what do you think? As for the lead, is that long enough, or should I go into further detail? BTW, thanks for all the suggestions- I think the article is starting to look much better. – The Sharpest Lives (💬•✏️•ℹ️) 21:01, 16 June 2024 (UTC)[reply]

@The Sharpest Lives I threw the upright parameter in there just to make sure the image fits. As for the lead, I think the breadth is good as is, but I have one comment:

• Growing Up, a punk rock album, centers on themes of growing up, discovering oneself, and anxieties that arise in adolescence. - This can be phrased as "Growing Up is a punk rock album, with lyrics that focus on themes of..."

Otherwise, great work! I also think the article is looking a lot better, and I'm very much looking forward to see what you write up for it in the coming days. joeyquism (talk) 21:27, 16 June 2024 (UTC)[reply]

@Joeyquism I hate to sound ignorant, but am I missing anything? I believe I have addressed your concerns/suggestions, though you say you are excited for me to write more. Just making sure I didn't miss anything. Thanks! – The Sharpest Lives (💬•✏️•ℹ️) 21:40, 16 June 2024 (UTC)[reply]

@The Sharpest Lives: Apologies for the miscommunication. I have read through the article again, and I am now more comfortable with passing it. Well done! I should now clarify and amend my message: I'm very much looking forward to see what you write up in the future! joeyquism (talk) 21:51, 16 June 2024 (UTC)[reply]